I’m sure by now we have all seen those videos on the internet of some poor unfortunate soul falling off a treadmill. We watch, we laugh, maybe even cry and we thank our lucky stars that that has never happened to us.
However, if that has happened to you, my deepest condolences. My friend, for I too have fallen off of a treadmill…twice.
Yes, you read that correctly, I fell off a treadmill not once, but twice. Being true to my awkward self I did not fall on two separate occasions; oh no that would be too easy, too normal.
Nope, both of my falls happened within seconds of each other. Now, I bet you have that same burning question that everyone else in the room had that day. HOW?!?
Well, let me tell ya, it takes some real skill and a special kind of awkward to master falling of a treadmill twice in one sitting. I really would like to blame this whole experience on the fact that I was 16, but let’s be real, that had nothing to do with it.
I was at soccer practice and we were supposed to be working out in the gym. We usually had practice outside on the field, but it was raining that day so we were inside.
For some reason, it was a pretty chill practice, so about half of the team wasn’t actually working out and the other half including me (like the responsible teen I was being) was working out.
Before this, I had never really ran on a treadmill (in hindsight I shouldn’t be surprised this happened to me); I always opted for the good ol’ outdoors.
As I was running on the treadmill I had the genius thought that I could just shut my eyes and keep running. Think about it, you get this incredible rushing feeling while your eyes are closed and it would be phenomenal.
Truth is, it doesn’t really work like that.
Apparently, when my eyes were closed I wasn’t running fast enough. When I opened my eyes I was at the end of the treadmill and before I could figure out what to do, I was OFF the treadmill.
Let’s be clear, I DIDN’T hit the ground.
However, the way the gym was set up the treadmills are lined along the wall with the backs of the treadmill almost touching the wall.
So, when I found myself off the treadmill, I smashed into the wall. Sadly, this is not the worst part of the story.
I was horrified that I just ran into the wall and looked over to where my coach and the rest of my teammates were. For some odd reason, I was scared my coach would be mad that the treadmill was still running and I was not on it, so I devised a plan.
This is where things went from simply sad to just plain unfortunate.
I decided to just get back on the treadmill, without stopping it. But not in a normal or remotely smart way.
I STEPPED ON THE BACK OF AN ALREADY MOVING TREADMILL.
My legs swept from under me and I hit the ground. Remember when I said there was a wall behind the treadmill. Well, my body got caught in between the wall and the treadmill with my shoulder rubbing against the moving track.
Burned several layers of my skin off.
That hurt, A LOT.
Realizing the track was burning my skin, I sat up and stared straight ahead at nothing. Because I was on the end, my back was now facing my teammates.
I foolishly believed if I got up at this very moment that no one would know the horrors I just endured, but I was wrong.
Before I could smoothly get up and act like this totally didn’t happen at all, a couple of my teammates ran up to me to see if I was okay.
Keep in mind, my sister Chanel, being the good person she is, is the LAST person to come to my side to see if I’m alright.
Incidentally, she is also the first to lead the laughing brigade.
Isn’t that lovely.
I spent a week reliving this horrendous moment over and over again, as no one would let me forget just how “funny” this was.
I then spent the next four years of my life avoiding treadmills of all kinds. Only until recently have I decided to give those awful machines another chance.
Let this story be a lesson to you; NEVER shut your eyes on a treadmill and absolutely NEVER step on the back of a moving treadmill.
Heed this warning and you will live a very happy life.